Me and Me alone in this Blog.
Me with the Lost Me, and Me Regaining the Lost Me are all about this writing.
Every small little daddy's princess grows up to be a bold 'n' beautiful lady emerging into a wonderful, strong woman who is all in one kind. I'm one such little girl who has always remained that little princess by heart and stands out as a strong, bold, and beautiful woman in this world.
Everyone says life changes after 40. Something like that happened to me too. My two years after my 40 were so hectic and pushed me into intense pressure on my mind that I started being desperate for a trip because I wanted to run away from wherever I was and had to come back and live life much stronger. Asking a couple of my friends to join me was a big failure including my so-called life partner who had no time for a trip during that month of the year (but now I think that's where I was blessed).
Sometime in the past, I had secretly desired Solo trips while watching videos of the girls/women who traveled and picturized it to be the most satisfying and worthwhile in life. My desperation for running out compelled me to choose a Solo trip to Pondicherry, one of the safest places for unwinding, clearing the mental stress through the sea waters, and for complete relaxation.
Over the years, I had become the most dependent, in most comfort zone, where everything was hand to mouth.
My challenges started right from bringing up courage within myself to travel alone, eating, walking, sitting on a beach till sleeping alone. Never did I know, that I would be ready for this until I started my journey. The best part was I booked the tickets before even I was sure that I would be able to do this Solo trip. Guess this is how anyone can come out of the Comfort Zone and break boundaries built in our own mind. So here are my days in a Peaceful Pondi that goes like this.
Day 1
Travelling Overnight
Always been an avid lover of solo travelers, watching them constantly only to love their courage to explore new places all by themselves though I always spoke to my mind that "never ever I can imagine myself as a solo traveler" & strongly believed it. But here comes a day in my life.
Just like they say, "Some of the most beautiful moments of your life are not even planned". Yes, it happened to me too.
4 days back instantly I felt & picked this decision to travel alone, searching for some silence within me.
3 days back I made all the necessary reservations.
2 days back I did the necessary shopping & here I started my journey by traveling all by myself unbelievably overnight, looking ahead in despair for the waves of an ocean.
That instant was my kick-start traveling journey.
For me, the most challenging was my own fears within myself. My fear of traveling at night, my fear of everything & with everyone around me, my fear of the water in huge quantity, my fear of staying silent, my fear of walking alone & every other fear of mine was something I wanted to say a big Goodbye. So, this journey was all about in search of solitude & bliss within me, exploring my own lost self, for a bright & larger perspective in life, for a firm positive mindset that I had loosened up. Hope to start and be aware of all these in mind, fingers are crossed that my life begins as freshly as a newborn from this journey after 42.
Day 2
Beautiful Morning
With no sleep all night in an AC sleeper coach bus, I reached Pondicherry at 5.30 am. I stood waiting behind the bus to collect my luggage, and there I suddenly saw my friend standing silently right behind my back. That's the first beaming smile or I can call it a burst of laughter that I could get through his surprise in the dawn as I stepped into this city. A feel of instant security and a kind of push towards my heading journey. Thanks to Selvan for giving me the assurance of being there for me at any time when needed.
As usual, the morning was much more beautiful in Pondy with such an awesome sunrise amidst the clouds. I'm sitting on the bench waiting for the sun to rise, peering anxiously if I would miss it through the thick clouds. Lucky me, Sun whom I always trusted never betrays me.
Such a lovely early morning meeting a friend, who was next to me on the bench of a seashore, we had met after decades and yet so comfortable in conversation had finally got me a nice coffee ☕ sipping it like a local. This KBS coffee made my morning so much more enthusiastic. In between all of this most missing part was my better half, oh no!! he is the one who takes the full of my life, my hubby. Without him, every moment is so incomplete for me ❤ Miss You Hubby 💓
Juggling with lack of sleep, in the same old mindset of not wasting a day here I went to Auroville, a place definitely not for tourists but it's an entire soul restoration of oneself.
On the way to Auroville was my most amazing journey looking at cute huts/cafes/artisans' work. It's altogether a different path and a treat to the eyes of any artist.
Way back in the sunny cityscape is our Richie-rich ice cream to beat & cool the heat. So tempting and mouthwatering was this south Indian thali to fill any hungry tummies. 😋
As my tummy filled, sleep was also calling towards a cozy bed & now I woke up fresh as ever with a caffeine-kicked-up coffee to enjoy the nightlife of Pondy. (Not exactly midnight life. Do you still think I am bold enough to roam around at midnight? 😂)
After this coffee, it's not me but the day ran faster than usual. Visited too many altogether but in bits.
Beaches, churches, French colonies, Ashram, and so on, almost ticking my list. Very informative and relaxed walks with click and clicks 📷
Day 3
Unwinding happening
Dear Sun, it's only Me & You and Nobody else 😍
Pour your shine on me & I pour out all the love in my heart. #truelove
Waiting eagerly for one more sunrise of my life at Pondy. This time I need to explore my path to the beach. So was I anxious as well as overly excited. My way to the beach was made easy with Mr. Google Raja and there I was at a bench on the beach before even the sun was showing its shine.
Pondicherry's special is no helmet and slow traffic movement. All vehicles wait for each other to cross calmly and patiently. People wait by switching off their vehicles if some lorry is unloading goods. Very helpful and polite people, experienced with a person even when he was drunk on Day 2.
Waterpower is not determined by the ocean's calmness but by the force of its waves, which is much more powerful than what it feels like. Similarly, the calmer and silent we are, the more powerful and strong we will be.
The smell of the sea, sunrise, its colors, sunrays in water, birds flying across the rising sun, fishermen on duty before the sun rises, fitness freaks, old and young tourists, local dogs, beggars, crows, each and every one, each and everything around me is feeling so pleasant. Magical bliss followed by a calming smile on my face by relaxing all my facial muscles. As if every cell of my body is saying Thank you.
Suddenly a question arose in my mind,
Just like how birds fly together in silence, is it not possible for us to make life together in silence? Why do not we have such a coordination like that of those Birds?
My foot had already touched the mud of Pondi and is it possible that I would come back without meeting my other friend who is a resident of that city.
So here I met my second French friend in Pondy, again I met him after decades. My call was instant, and he arrived too quickly. Thanks to Joseph for being quick off the mark and showing so much interest in meeting me. Our overall meeting was in just less than 30 minutes with a coffee on the go, and a brief talk on what and how is life doing.
Although some are not on our list to meet, we tend to meet, and this happens only when we think of the human survival period. Post Covid we were forced to learn and accept that we all are here only till it is destined. Anything can happen to anybody at any time. We never know when we see or talk to a person for the last time. Believing that just saying a Hi, how are you? would not really make any difference in this path of human life? This made me call him immediately and ask if he was free for a meeting & to my surprise, here was this sweet friend who came instantly to meet me. Sometimes these instant meetings are the most memorable & a joy to cherish✨
My next move of the morning was freshening, breakfast, repacking. I have taken a long duration for all this. Effects of slower metabolic rate 😑
Finally ready to go!!!
Realizations are,
Until we travel on our own, try new things, explore the world in our own limitations, and most importantly with a calm mind, we never know how capable we are and how easy things can be.
Only when I went out and as a flow I got connected to the unseen dotted lines of life, explored more than I ever thought or planned.
I agree with that, Confusing minds are common, just like a baby learning to follow footsteps. Yes, it's difficult to control a confusing mind until we take a strong hold on to it & control it to become firm.
Now I've explored the place on my own, had my time, had a high time with the and evening sun & with the sea on a one-to-one basis in silence. Now I have heard the sea patiently by calming my restlessness.
Above all most importantly, I was looking prettier for myself (something I wasn't feeling before).
According to me, to love ourselves firstly we need to dress well & stay comfortable which boosts our confidence plus a heartful smile & once our confidence is high, only then do we feel that we are on top of the whole world that helps us achieve whatever we think of.
Today it's the same feeling and I'm feeling Great.
Silence... Power... Confidence... 3 Strong Words has made me feel I'm on top of this whole world. 😍
Day 4
Last day feel in Pondy, so Chilling
As usual, how can I miss the sunrise? Not a single day I would like to miss watching him. Again, today I expected the same clear yet beautiful sunrise scenario. But today sun has taught me something for life.
The sun started rising not at sea level but from the middle which is much above the sea and left a beautiful message saying u can start your life from any point and not necessarily everything starts from the very beginning.
Many times, most of them around me have offered help to overcome my fear of water but my mind stopped me from overcoming saying, 'Safer the Better, so stay off from Water'.
Today on my 4th day, realizing that it is the last day of my trip in Pondy, I gave a thought and somehow dared to step into the sea, my feet touching the water, waves hitting them on and off, at the beach where absolutely nobody behind me, whom I always expect to be there to protect me from water.
For a second, I questioned myself, is this Sudden loss of fear due to my lost interest in life, or is it because I have started to believe in water more than before??
This trip helped me slowly overcome a small percentage of my fear of water for sure.
More than anything, my experience with water for the first time was so calming & enjoyable with an inward bliss.
Will definitely miss these mornings at the beach & the most beautiful sun 🌞
Just like in our life, Water comes in so many layers and goes back calmly.
Didn't feel like capturing this moment with a video or a click. The happiest moments are felt and cannot be captured.
Will definitely miss these mornings at the beach, getting some vitamin D & the most beautifully emerging sun 🌞
The glow on our faces or on our minds that comes when time is spent with nature is immense. Only those who connect with this can feel it.
Anxious day as it was my last day in Pondicherry. So, clicking on everything senselessly.
Loved Tamilian food varieties, tasty and yummy 😋
Being the last day & having roamed almost all places, I didn't know what else to do. So took a list of places to visit from the hotel reception and started ticking all that I had finished, canceling all that I didn't want to go and decided to visit what I hadn't still done with. Picking routes in series on our Google Raja, here I went on the lanes of Pondy exploring something I wanted to see, the two heritage homes that were converted into museums, followed by the handmade paper factory of Aurobindo.
Enjoyed buying some small handmade books for my daughter and myself.
As the route went on with several stops, I found some stores for shopping t-shirts for my Pondy friend, my best friend who's my chubby hubby & myself. Visited French Bakery the Bakers Street and carried loads of varieties to my family back home.
Thinking of my Artistic, Creative Daughter along the way I walked in the lanes of Pondy:
All the lanes had beautiful artifacts, dresses, accessories and so many others. Tempted to buy for my teenage daughter who wasn't sure of what she likes.
Everywhere I go and see something adorable, and I always feel like picking for my daughter. My Motherly instincts blow my heart and never stop. Love to get her all that she needs.
Wish me and my daughter to go on a trip, just like an old foreign lady and her quite middle-aged daughter at Le Cafe yesterday. It's when I asked her if anybody coming there to sit opposite to her. With so much love she said, oh yeah, my daughter is here 😍 Missed my daughter right away.
Mom is a mom, in any part of this world, no matter whether human or animal or any creature, mom nurtures and only nurtures with all the unconditional love she can.
Miss my mom too at this point. Especially when on a call my mom told me amazed, "How did you go without me?"
Reassuring myself I say, "Yes, I wanted to come alone this time". No one to convince. I needed this break to sort my life, to understand by whom and where is my Tripp offs in my life.
I was in a situation where I was unable to climb the ladder of life. I was like a stagnant pond, going nowhere and stinking within myself.
Now, with this break I think at least I realized a few things. I gained a realization of my strengths and weaknesses. Where I need to strengthen up, mentally and physically.
Sitting in a Cafe like this, with a piece of such mild music, beautiful calming ambiance. I know that I definitely deserve something better in life.
Hopping back to the room. I forgot when lunchtime went off 🙃 so much filled with heartfelt thanks to all the wooden doors, French Architecture, and its colors. 😍
Manakulam Vinayagar temple was on the top of my list but kept on thinking of my expensive new shoes, "What if they get stolen" so I couldn't step in.
Today I made up my mind to go into the temple as I found a shoe rack outside and parked the vehicle my bad, the temple was closed.
That's what happens, nothing happens as we want. So never keep rejecting or refusing anything or anyone. We need to accept & include everything that life gives us.
We also realize that in a family, especially a life partner plays a major role. They can be spoilers or motivators. My irritation with my husband is not proportional to my love for him but definitely, it has affected my life's daily activities.
Takeaways from this Solo Trip:
Lessons to Practice:
1. Physical & mental fitness improvement
2. Keep calm in any situations
3. Forgive & let go
4. Keep moving on in life
5. Be independent in thinking & Making decisions
6. Simple & Basic living
7. Earn money
8. Spend less & enjoy everything u see around
9. Travel more
10. Keep Smiling 😊
Tell yourself:
1. Don't assume or co-relate anything
2. Speak limited
3. Don't get emotional
4. Avoid people who irritate you
5. Pray more 🙏🏻
6. Open up your mind & think
7. Go with the flow
8. Go alone.
9. Love everything & everyone around u
10. Smile, Smile & Smile
Even after getting back from a solo trip...
Somewhere I feel the money was wasted on a solo trip. Maybe I'm not a type of solo or I'm being a conservative Indian Mom😁.
I'm a kind of juggle, mingle, and struggle with a friend alone.
Still sitting back and rejoicing all the moments when I sat alone with my thoughts flowing in and looking at people, animals, birds, sea, trees, buildings and so many others around me and understanding life in its more natural way.
In a way, I'm smiling at the moments in a flash.
Once-in-a-lifetime experience & joy for a person like me. I'm still a Social Being. 😜
